For years, I’ve had this strange habit of getting up at unearthly hours of the night day, just to find some quiet.
To be alone and hear myself think.
To spend time with the Lord, be still, and let my heart refocus before I meet another busy day.
I’m a morning person by nature, and often when I’m drowning in the busyness of life I find myself reaching for the solitude of early mornings.
Life hasn’t afforded much quiet lately, so here I go again- meeting the day before the clock on my cell phone reads 5 a.m.
(And, yes, I have to take naps when I beat the sun up… just so you know.)
The house is chilly as I make my way downstairs, so I grab a favorite afghan out of the linen closet and head to the living room. Normally, I would start a pot of coffee or tea, but I’m too tired this morning.
All I want is quiet… and some time in God’s Word.
I’ve been hungry for some time alone with the Lord. The noise of life has been so loud lately that my soul feels deaf and weary…
I grab my Bible, a copy of Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson, and my cell phone.
I cuddle up with my blanket in a corner of our sofa, turn on my “Cannon in D” Pandora station via my phone app, and immediately feel a little of the pressure and stress of the past few days slip out of my soul.
Proverbs chapter ten and the soothing strands of my classical music bath my mind in peace.
As I read, then pour out my heart to God in prayer, the busy places in my mind grow still.
My tense muscles relax.
My heart becomes quiet.
I lean into the gentleness of the morning, comforted by the fact that I have hours of solitude ahead of me before my family begins to stir.
I’ve been finding myself thinking a lot about how I wish I didn’t need so much “quiet” in my life.
Yet, I crave solitude.
I am refreshed by times spent alone: with just the Lord, peaceful music, and maybe a book to read or my journal or laptop for writing.
When I go too long without taking time to be still and alone, life begins to feel overwhelming and negative.
Problems close in on me and I feel like I’m drowning.
That’s why I have to cultivate these early quiet times.
A sacred time in my day to enter God’s presence and once again find His rest, direction, and love.
I need Him to fill me up so I have something to give to those who depend upon me so heavily.
And, sometimes, life does feel heavy. Like much more than I can bear.
Until I am quiet.
Refreshed.
Renewed.
Energized and full again.
I told the Lord this morning, “I just need a beautiful place.”
The words surprised me, because I don’t think I’ve ever actually had that conscious thought before.
But, the longer I pondered my own words, the more I believed them.
I do need a beautiful place.
I need my home to be beautiful. It’s very important to me that my home has a well-kept, open, welcoming air about it. Not that it is always those things… but I prefer it.
I need my heart to be a beautiful place. Negativity, criticism, and bitterness destroy everything that is beautiful inside of me. Learning to cultivate gratitude and joy has been the best life habit I’ve ever chosen to develop (and I am still such a work in progress!).
I need my mind to be a beautiful place. Meditating on God’s Word throughout the day helps keep my mind fresh, alive, and centered on Christ. Reading a constant diet of good books keeps my mind sharp and my spirit stimulated to desire better things.
I need my words to be beautiful. Most of all, the words I speak to my husband and children need to be life-giving. I also want my words to build up everyone I come in contact with… my friends, acquaintances, my church family, those I interact with online, and you, sweet readers.
I want this blog to be a beautiful place!
Yes, I need a beautiful place.
Tucked away from the struggles and chaos of a whirlwind world.
Like a quiet coffee cafe on the corner of a busy street… a gentle place to cultivate and nurture all that is lovely and wholesome.
There is enough negativity, fear, and trouble in the world… I won’t allow it to take root in the corners of my life, as well.
I choose to welcome the quiet, peaceful beauty of Christ within my home, my heart, my mind.
His presence is the most beautiful place I know.
Here’s to living & loving well-
xoxo,
Kristy
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You have no idea how much I needed to read your article. I was up the other night when I came across your blog in my email, I just cried and cried. I recently lost both of my grandma’s, who were a couple beautiful women in my life. I’ve been searching for a place of beauty that makes me happy, where I could grieve as well.
You are such a blessing! I love reading your blog and I’m starting to journal what makes me happy, and seeking the Lord’s presence to restore beauty in my life.
As a young mom of a sweet little boy, I don’t make myself a priority, You have definitely challeged me to do better for myself. Thank you so much!!!!
Sarah, I’m so pleased that the article was an encouragement to you. I’m terribly sorry about the loss of your grandmothers. It’s so difficult to lose precious ladies, especially ones whose lives created a special dimension of beauty in your world. May the Lord heal your heart and gently lead you as you seek His presence in the days ahead.
Amen, amen, amen! I, too, am not a natural morning person, but the early mornings are my only guaranteed time alone to pray, read, write, and think.
I actually look forward to my time *most*mornings and the fellowship with Christ is soo sweet.
Tomorrow will be six am instead of five since we are in revival and I need an extra hour of zzzz’s. I’ll be thinking bout you and praying and you do the same for me!
Beautifully written post, sis! I crave a beautiful place too. Hugs!
You were in my thoughts and prayers this morning, Sis! We mamas have to carve out a quiet time with the Lord, don’t we? I’m not so good with mornings, but as long as I get enough sleep in during the week, I love my early, quiet start to the day.
Tears roll as I read your heart & identify…. “A beautiful place”…, that’s so well written! Thanks for pushing me on!
I’m so glad something resonated with you here, Brooke. Enjoy your beautiful day, sweet lady. xoxoxoox
Currently craving “guaranteed” quiet time in early mornings, because even at 5:00, one of the little people in the house is an early riser, ready to eat, ready to play. Having to learn to appreciate and cultivate a quiet heart even when I don’t get the quiet I so desire. Sometimes with littles, no matter what you do, you can’t get that “quiet time” without making yourself ill because of too little sleep. Have to change my thinking on what quiet looks like for this stage of life. Am listening to a new favorite Pandora station “Cannon in D” – thanks Kristy for the recommendation, and the refreshing post.
I have definitely made myself ill from lack of sleep, Priscilla. You’re so right… sometimes our “quiet time” has to be redefined, rearranged, and repackaged. God is so faithful to gently lead us mamas as we gently lead our children. He knows the desires of our hearts, and the needs of our minds and bodies.
Enjoy your beautiful music! I am listening to mine right now. 🙂
I love this so much! While I don’t have a home bustling with children yet, I tend to take for granted the fact that I can have quiet time on a more consistent basis. I put my work before time with the Lord even though I am in a stage of life where I have ample opportunity to prioritize quiet time. This is a wonderful reminder that I need to do just that. I will ask my hubby to help keep me accountable as he is very good about keeping quiet time 🙂
An accountability partner is a wonderful idea, Vanessa! I look back on my “quiet” years (before children) and realize that I didn’t necessarily recognize how “free” my time really was (I felt pushed and busy even then, of course!)
Blessings on your week as you pursue that beautiful, quiet place with the Lord.