Why I’m Not Cut Out to Be a Homeschool Mom (Part 1)

Sometimes, I  get this funny feeling that many folks think we homeschool mothers are just not normal.

“Not normal” meaning: we are somehow exempt from the common plagues of womanhood.  You know, impatience, griping, anger, poor time management, selfishness, loneliness, hormones, etc.

I’ll never forget the day a mother told me,

I wish I wanted to homeschool.  But I just need that alone time while my boys are away at school!”

So where do people get this idea that women who choose to homeschool their children, do it because it’s just so easy for them

That we don’t “need alone time”.

Don’t wake up tired and grumpy on occasion.

Never get sick, or have sick little ones.

Don’t crave adult conversation, or relish a hot shower without interruptions, or wouldn’t like to spend one day without peeling hardened pasta off the kitchen floor with a spatula.

I have a news flash to share: Homeschooling moms are “normal.”

We are flawed, selfish sinners, just like everyone else. 

We fight the same battles with our flesh (and our flesh and blood) as every other mother in the world.

 The power that drives us isn’t Super Woman strength.  It is nothing but grace: the power and desire to fulfill God’s will for our lives.

Is homeschooling God’s will for everyone’s life?

Well, now, that isn’t what this post or this blog is all about. Our Heavenly Father is pretty creative and unique with His plans for His children.  But my husband and I are convinced that it is God’s will for our family’s life.

So I rely heavily on grace to embrace each and every day He gives me.

And the amazing thing?  That grace is new… every morning.

You see, I’m really not cut out to be a homeschool mom…

Why I'm Not Cut Out to be a Homeschool Mom | part one | Kristy's Cottage blog

 continued in part two

If something you read here encourages you, please feel free to share with others moms via social media and I’m always delighted when friends subscribe via email

I’d love to connect with you over at our private homeschooling moms group on Facebook, too.

Do you relate?

Do you ever feel like people just assume homeschooling comes “easy” for you?

25 thoughts on “Why I’m Not Cut Out to Be a Homeschool Mom (Part 1)”

  1. I can only homeschool my children once in my lifetime and theirs.  Now is that time.  It is up to me, and to my husband, to make these days count.  For eternity. This is why I choose to get up every morning, sit down at our dining room table, and teach my children in the best way I know how.

  2. If I have learned anything home schooling my children, it is that I have a lot more faults than I ever dreamed of.  When mothers tell me that they would never have the patience to home school their children like “so and so”, I tell them that  absolutely no mother has the patience.  If they tell you otherwise they are either trying to save face or not doing anything of educational value with their children.  

    Let’s face it, being in charge of our children’s education is very stressful and stress causes emotions to come out that none of us want or desire.  The day that I can HONESTLY stop caring about what other mothers and public school teachers are doing, I will become a better mother.  

    I do love home schooling because I love my children.  I love being around them and I love watching them grow.  I don’t love the discipline and the children thinking that my punishments are “totally unfair”.  But I like that after we are done with the day, we all kneel together and pray, read scriptures, laugh, and remember why we are here on earth together.  

    Home schooling is not for everyone.  I refuse to give into the mindset that home schooling mothers love their children more.  My mom was and is a wonderful mother and grandmother and is very supportive.  Some of my other siblings have dabbled in home schooling and found that it wasn’t for them.  I know them and I know how much they care for and love their children.  

    As much as we do for our children, and with the understanding that we have as to why we do it, please don’t put other mothers who don’t do as we do, down.  We wouldn’t want them to do that to us.  I do believe that is part of the Golden Rule. 

  3. I have had the opposite effect.  I am told I do not have the patience to home school or the education to.

  4. I wanted to share my story-we used to homeschool-we have 5 children ages 8,7,6,4&2.  I homeschooled our oldest for K and 1st, when it came time for our middle 2 to enter K-I thought I was set with curriculum and ready to go.  Our 2nd oldest J has CAS and SID-apraxia of speech and sensory integration dysfunction- I tried to homeschool for the month of September and gave up and we put them back in school.  Main reason was J needed therapies-speech and OT and I couldn’t do that for him-only to an extent. 
    I was crazed,frustrated the list goes on.  Now 4 out of my 5 are in school.  Our oldest was not ready for 2nd we tried in PS for 2 weeks, she was delayed in reading-she was only reading at a beginning 1st grade level.  So the school gave us the choice of letting her go on in 2nd or put her back in 1st, we put her back in 1st-it was the right decision-but an extremely hard one for me-my dh and our oldest didn’t mind.  Now all of children are excelling in school they are in grades 2,1 and half day pre-k. 


  5. The main comment I hear from moms is that they could never do it.  My response – I don’t do it.  It is all Him!  Last year it was all me and it was miserable.  This year, I gave it all to God.  I can’t do it.  That doesn’t mean we don’t have days that are miserable (there are five us in the house and four of them are ages 5-8).  There are “those days”.  But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I know my kids more than I ever thought possible.  We learn together.  We see new mercies together every day.  Thanks for the post.  I look forward to reading more!

  6. LOVE this! I’ve gotten the same thing about natural birth. The “I could never do that” as though it’s somehow easy for me! I’m working on a homeschool series right now, too. 🙂 Can’t wait to read the rest of your posts!

  7. “I thought I was a patient person until I had children,” a friend said. It is so true. Our children stretch and try us, but God gives grace to grow in love and patience.

    My oldest is still just in preschool, but already I am learning that I can’t homeschool in my own strength. I am neither wise or patient enough. Thankfully God gives to those who ask. 

    I’m looking forward to this series. 

  8. Oh thank you for posting this!! I will be following this series with great interest. I have 6 boys ages 9 down to 13 mos. we have always homeschooled, but lately I have been feeling like I am doing a *reallly* bad job. I need a boost in my confidence and determination!! Thank you!

  9. Love this. Grace is such a blessing, and I’m thankful God gives it freely.

  10. Ah Kristy! You know even if this series touches one person it was worth it right? Well it’s funny how the Lord works because remember your healthy eating series? I needed that bad….And now I REALLY REALLY need this! See I have a 3rd, 1st and a pre-schooler and have been talking about homeschooling for YEARS! My husband and I just haven’t had the “nerve” to do it. We always said the girls would never go to middle school, we’ll definitely pull them out before then..Well the Lord sure has a sense of humor because our kick in the rear has came this month!?!? Can you believe that? Now your are posting this series that I really need to hear! The Lord is good! Thank you Kristy for all of your caring words and ever growing knowledge.I have no idea where to start, what curriculum to use or not use….It’s information overload on the web. I can’t wait to read the rest of the series!

  11. Wow – so absolutely true. I’ve had several of those “I wish I could… I don’t know how you do it” etc comments, and they make my head spin. I don’t have any special super mama powers either. I need my coffee just as much as my former co-working mama friends, I need the occasional kid-free time too. It breaks my heart to hear those “I could never stay home with my kids all day” comments too 🙁

    For me, it’s a matter of making my children my priority (which was a no brainer), being creative about how our days unfold, and constantly reminding myself to allow my heart and mind to remain open to the challenges that this direction in our life journey brings. Some days are really, really hard.. but then I get the privilege of witnessing some truly amazing ‘a-ha’ moments as the kids learn something new. Wouldn’t trade this for anything!

  12. What a great post, Kristy!  I can’t wait to follow along with you in this journey.  🙂

  13. Amen! I really do hate it when people tell me…”Oh, I could never homeschool my kids…” as if I am somehow immune to life’s natural ups and downs. Thanks for being real. Grace from our Father is really the only way to homeschool.

    Kristi @ homeschoolingandotheradventures.blogspot.com

  14. This is an awesome post, Kristy!  You said it perfectly!  I am so thankful that God’s mercy is new every morning – what a wonderful God we serve that would give us new mercy every day – something I need!

  15. I just look with gaping mouth and unbelief when people tell me that I must be such a patient mom to be able to home school. God has used home schooling as one of the tools to sanctify me and my impatient tendencies.

    • Oh, Do I ever agree! This is the beginning of our second year of homeschooling. Last year was the most eye opening, jaw dropping year of my life. I am seeing weaknesses in myself that I never saw before – I am being tried, tested, and forced to examine my own flaws, all while trying to educate and love my children properly! This is HARD. I’m not doing this for ease, but because God has called me to do it, because it is necessary. Some days, sadly, I do wish I could send them back, I could have an easy, quiet day, but I snap out of that pretty quickly 🙂 God is sanctifying me – all of us, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to learn from Him how He wishes me to live my life, how He wishes me to love my (His) children and my husband – how I can serve Him. And I am daily on my knees praying for Him to give me the much needed grace and strength to do it a little bit better job. Thanks for putting into words how it feels when those comments are tossed around.!

  16. It saddens me to hear mamas saying they could never stay at home with their kids all day! I think much of being “able” to homeschool is choosing your attitude and perspective. Homeschooling mamas do have grumpy mornings but at least we can choose to ease into our schooling that day 🙂 when we have a sick child we are fortunate that we already planned to be home with them that day. When the kids just can’t focus on the task at hand we have the ability to send them outside to run and play for 30 minutes.
    Homeschooling mama of 6

  17. My comments on FB keep disappearing. So, I thought I would comment here. I can relate to you. We all have bad days and worst days now and then. I think what makes the difference is know why we choose to homeschool. Homeschool is not an easy decision to make and it can be difficult, however, if you know why you are doing it, you can get past the hard times and endure.
    If anyone would like to watch a video to help encourage them that homeschooling is the best choice for your family, I encourage you to watch IndoctriNATION Movie.  I found it to be very informative and helpful. You can find it at http://indoctrinationmovie.com/

  18. I’ve always been one of those moms who assumed homeschooling was easy for some mothers and I couldn’t do it because I NEED my alone time! Granted, I’ve worked all my children’s life and just began being a SAHM 6 months ago when my son was born. But as soon as I told members of my church that I was staying home, all the homeschool moms said “next you’ll be homeschooling!” and I said “No! It’s not for me! I have no patience, I need my time alone, and I’m just not a person who’s good at teaching.”  But then my 8 yr old began having issues with a bully at school and lots of anxieties at home. Two months later, she’s still having anxieties and hates going to school.  So after much prayer, my husband has allowed me to homeschool her (he’s very much against homeschooling).  I sit here looking at a blank piece of paper trying to just write out a schedule and I’m already overwhelmed!!  But I feel at peace with this decision, so I know it’s from God and He will help me through it.  The fact that I feel I can’t do this on my own just shows me that He wants to show Himself in this situation and everything will be fine because God is truly in control!!  Thanks for this post!! Can’t wait to read the rest!
    God bless!

    • Yasmin, thank you so much for sharing!  Homeschooling can definitely be a daunting  journey, but you can do it!  I’m so proud of the decision you have made to teach your daughter at home.

    • Yasmin, I totally understand what you mean reguarding being overwhelmed! This is my 5th yr homeschooling my children. I started when my oldest was in K5. Year after year I was overwhelmed and even scared to school them. I feared what others would say or if my children were going to be up to par with public schooled children or even homeschooled ones. My Dad and his wife are teachers so they helped me to realize whatever I taught them, even on an off scheduled day, was better than what they would be getting if in public school. I know we all want to be perfect and scheduled and follow it to a T. But the truth is not everyday will be perfect and it’s okay. I don’t know what books you have choosen for your child but there are lots out there (which is of course overwhelming) that have curriculum and teachers books to help with the process. After a while you won’t really need those so much cause you will get comfortable with the books you are using and get into a good groove with your books and gain self esteem as well. But they do help! Basically, do what is best for you and your daughter and don’t be bogged down or overwhelmed. Have confidence! God led you to do this and He will see you through! I personally do not get through my day in my own strength at all. It is Him who called me to do this and it is Him who carries us through everyday. I have always wanted to do what I am doing. Being home with and schooling my children. I just NEVER realized how difficult it could all be. After I let go of all the what will people say, will I be good enough at it, will they learn everything they need… and STOPPED comparing myself with like homeschooling moms, it has been an absolute pleasure (most days) to do what I do. You don’t have to be scheduled and perfect, you don’t have to do 7 subjects a day. 🙂 Just do what your daughter needs and add stuff as you go and get more use to it all. Hopefully you have people around you to encourage you but even if not hold on to what God told you. And please be encouraged! if any of us can do this, SO CAN YOU! 🙂 Be blessed and be at peace and trust that God will be there for you.
      Oh! And what a great thing you have done to realize what was going on with your child and now are doing something about it!  That shows the love you have for your child, she is blessed to have you. And she, I am sure, has peace now. 🙂

    • Yasmin,

      Likely there are homeschool groups in your area. Try to meet up with other moms and ask to see wht they are using to teach their children. Choose something basic and similar to what your child used before (assuming that was working for her). Between now and next year, you can critique what you tried, consider what others are using and have a chance to get some used items for a good price.

      I homeschool one dd (7th grade). I have said that ANYONE can hs one child (and likely more)–but God gifted me with one and she’s the one I teach.

  19. I feel like this a lot! Someone told me that I was just different and “gifted” in what I did and that not everyone could be like me. It was really hard talking her out of thinking that way! I do love being with my kids and learning with them everyday, but I have the same struggles as other moms in wanting time to myself sometimes and losing patience and getting angry.

    • Me too!  My mom always said, “Homeschooling brings out the WORST in the mother”.  I agree!  Sometimes, it is hard to look at who we really are (as revealed by our children!). But where would we be without this process of sanctification?? 


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